Diarrhea is so common you could write a book on all of its nicknames; old faithful, cha cha dance, pancake batter, the scoots, sharts, Hershey squirts, runs, butt pee, or my personal favorite, the Tijuana trot dump. No matter what you call it, a few things are certain. First your bathroom and roommates probably hate you. Second, your ass is screaming at you in pain begging for you to find out how to get rid of diarrhea. Well my friend, you have come to the right place. We will put you and your ass at rest. Let’s get started with Diarrhea Clinic 101.
- watery stool (peeing out your butt)
- light headed from dehydration
- abdominal aches
- rectal pain
- urgent visits to the bathroom
Causes of Diarrhea
Although there are several underlying medical conditions that may lead to diarrhea (see below), viral gastroenteritis is the most common reason. Viral gastroenteritis is highly contagious and usually hops from hand to hand. Shared drinks, silverware, and contaminated foods can have everyone in your house fighting for the bathroom fast.
Most people will experience diarrhea three or four times a year. Other factors such as diet, medication, or stress levels can result in diarrhea or an upset stomach. However, if you frequently have diarrhea for extended periods of time it may signal a more serious underlying medical condition. Some underlying medical conditions that can lead to frequent diarrhea are:
- IBS or Irritable Bowel Syndrome
- colon cancer
- E. coli
- food poisoning
- Crohn’s Disease
If you have frequent diarrhea and the following tips don’t work for you, play it safe and visit your doctor for a checkup.
Hydrate and hydrate some more. One of the most serious risks of diarrhea, especially in young children and elderly adults, is dehydration. Think about how much fluid has come out of your body since you got sick. You’re not only losing fluids, but you’re missing out on all of the nutrients and electrolytes your body wasn’t able to properly digest and absorb. This is why a lot of the time you will feel tired or weak when you get diarrhea. Adults should drink sports drinks with electrolytes and fruit drink for minerals and vitamins. For children Pedialyte is a great product. Fluids should be consumed slowly throughout the entire day.
Avoid certain foods. The most obvious foods to avoid are foods that give you gas and spicy foods. No reason to put yourself through extra misery. Stay away from caffeine and foods high in sugar or full of sugar substitutes. Avoiding high fiber foods and dairy products will also help limit the visits to the toilet.
Foods you should eat. Most of the time when we are sick we lose our appetites, but to bad. If you don’t provide your body with the nutrients it needs your immune system will weaken further and you put yourself at risk of becoming more sick. When you have diarrhea you should eat bland or basic foods. Soup is a great starter as you will get some nutrients as well as some much needed hydration. Crackers, plain rice, and toast will also be easy on your stomach. Studies have show the probiotic agents in bananas and yogurts can also be good when you have diarrhea. The yogurt you want to pick up in the store should contain active cultures like lactobacillus acidophilus.
Get plenty of sleep. No matter what we are sick with, sleep is always important. Catching up on sleep helps to boost our immune system allowing it to fight off the virus. If you’re not getting enough rest you will just prolong your diarrhea and risk becoming more sick. So if you want to stop blowing up the toilet, kick up your feet and catch some Z’s.
Prevent further contamination. Just like with bacteria washing hands and keeping a clean kitchen is important to keep a virus controlled. Avoid sharing things like toothbrushes and eating utensils with other people. You don’t have to avoid someone like they have the plague but a little common sense never hurts.
Diarrhea is the process of your body fighting off a viral infection. The best remedy is to let it take its natural course and in a few days you will be back on your feet. However, I do realize that life can’t always come to screeching halt and you may be in a situation where you can’t be pooping all day. If this is the case you can pick up some Peptol-Bismol or Kaopectate from the store. I highly suggest that you only use OTC products when extremely necessary and try to get off them as soon as possible allowing your body to do its thing.
If you have been experiencing diarrhea for more than a week you should consult a doctor. I realize nobody likes going to the doctor especially for the squirts, but it may be the sign of an underlying problem. If it is, it’s always best to catch a medical condition early before it leads to more complicated problems.